Let's talk about TALK. Call it COMMUNICATION. When the members of a family feel free to talk among themselves, there is greater peace, acceptance, and even love. Trust grows. Security develops. Many families, though, are not comfortable talking together. Members of these families are afraid of the risk of stating their opinion, sharing what hurts them, opening up about their plans and dreams, or even telling about a funny thing that happened to them. Sometimes in a family one person wants to talk, but others don't talk and won't listen. Our words reveal our heart, and there are throbbings of the heart that must be made known. How about your family? Do you talk? Is it easy to say what you think? What have been the benefits of opening up with each other? Have you ever wished you hadn't spoken? Give us your comments. They will be read by many others who come to this blog. And some of these will be shared in the message at Family Life next weekend. Thank-you. You guys are awesome!
Dale Travis
This is a blog especially for the members of Family Life Church in Amarillo, Texas, but we welcome postings and comments from anyone who believes the Bible and wants to see the Lord honored in the family of today.
In our family I am usually the one that wants to communicate and for me there are two issues I face. One is wanting to talk when others dont really want to listen or talking about something that i feel is important and others see as something with little to no importance. The other issue i have is wanting to talk but afraid of how it may come across. Alot of the times what i said is misunderstood or not communicated correctly which causes conflict. These are big issues for me because i am a personality that does not like to hold things in my heart. I feel like i have a huge burden when i cannot communicate with my family. I wish i knew how to find a medium to accomodate me and them and still have peace of mind. There have been times that we have sat down and had a heart to heart if you will and it has been a huge success. I feel as though my concerns or conversation in general were heard and considered.
ReplyDeletePersonally, talking for me has been part of my healing. Coming from an abused background, we were told in our classes (as were our spouses) to not close the door to that deep, dark secret room when one of the memories emerged from it. Instead, I was to take ownership of the pain and hurt and then embrace the love and healing that God through my family would then extend to me. This healing came through talking it through and praying for God's healing touch.
ReplyDeleteTalking has helped our children feel like they matter and are an important part of the family and not just people living in the house. It has taught them that their feelings, opinions, and concerns matter and that their ideas are important and aren't squelched. Respect for us, as their parents, has always been expected but in all honesty has never been an issue for us. Maybe that's because we also respect THEM. What goes around... comes back around.
The people I have the hardest time communicating with are my sister and mother. Anytime,I express something whether it is good or bad I am shut down. I think my feelings aren't validated instead I am constantly being corrected. I tend to bottle stuff up or try to ignore it without dealing with it. This is when I need to turn to God.
ReplyDeleteThe previous post really hit a nerve talking about respect. We have been taught that the most important act of showing honor and respect is listening... truly listening when that person speaks... even if the words are unimportant or even silliness. The speaker is honored by the listener hearing the words.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to hear TV watchers demand that no one speaks during some showing and all conversation has to wait until the comercials. What a waste of life!
Growing up I have learned that children should be seen and not heard at the dinner table .When I got married the first time ,I was an abusive relationship and if I wanted to talk about something , my husband at the time never had time or didn't want to talk about an issue . Our conversations were limited to arguments and blames . It was a very lonely life . Eventually it ended up in divorce . I have remarried and sometimes it's still hard for me to talk about some issues with my new husband . I'm afraid that he will get upset with me . What I have learned is that he doesn't get mad at me . Also something that I do is I pray first and then talk to my husband. I'm getting better at it . When it comes to my children it's hard to talk to them They are still young and I have to pray and ask God to give me words when I talk to them . I know that with time talking will get better and better . I already is better then it use to be .
ReplyDeleteLack of communication can ruin a family. I see it all around me. I see married couples who hide things from each other, kids who can't talk to their parents about anything and even when they try, the parents seem to take that opprotunity to tell the kid everything he or she is doing wrong. An important part of communication is listening but we forget that sometimes. My husband and I are not afraid to express our feelings to each other, good, bad or otherwise. This keeps us close. We are not one of those couples with separate bank accounts and separate lives, we share everything ,including our feelings. We have taught our 18yr old son and our 12yr old daughter to do the same, and they do ,good bad or otherwise, but we all really know each other and truely love each other, for exactly who we are, and we are blessed.
ReplyDeleteI feel that talking and communicating with eachother is very important. But it isn't always the case in my family. The only time my husband and I express our feelings is when we are in a argument. Then it is too late. We have already squashed what peace and real communication we should have. I wish that we could express our feeling without the anger. I am afraid that if we can'r figure out how to do it our children won't know how to communicate when needed. But I know that God is always there and I know that I can communicate with him anytime. So I am just going to try to put it in his hands and just keep trying to make it work in my famiy.
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